fade to black

Sunday, July 31, 2005

happy. sha la la la.

special thanks to all those who took all my being a jerk and still cared for me. thanks charis, farhanah and trina. i really appreciated it. chan. you too. thanks for listening. all of you.


tRiNa!=D. would like her name to appear. haha. happy? i've nv tried the size function before. cool stuff. sorry for the wait. haha. i bet you are off to slp. study... a likely story. haha.


life hasnt been gg well. i guess its just me thats messed up inside. not being selfish is hard work. i guess it'll take some getting used to.

silly is also upset. cheung bought teevee. what smurf. he. teevee. and smurfs. the 3 things that revolves in silly's head. tsk tsk. cheer up alright? luck just isnt with us.

news update: oh shit. i m getting jealous again. control yrself.


on a lighter note. chinatown is a funky place. and i toook my 3star today. i m burnt all over. got my hair cut.

scouts was a drag. i was late for pop. so i changed into my uni only to find that they had ended the ceremony. so i changed out of it like the rest of the guys. and we were told to wear our uni to go for dinner. did i mention the scout uni is gaudy and troublesome to wear. sigh.

news flash: she doesnt knw.


Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away

I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams
I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh it feels like the first time every time
I wanna spent the whole night in your eyes

Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Oh, every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you


Thursday, July 28, 2005

fade to black.

Ronan:Four o'clock in the morning
My mind's filled with a thousand thoughts of you
And how you left without a warning
But looking back I'm sure you tried to talk it through

LeAnn:Now I see it clearly
We're together but living separate lives

Ronan:So wanna tell you I'm sorry
Baby I can't find the words
But if I could, then you know I would, yeah

No I won't let you go, know what we can be
I won't watch my life, crashing down on me
Guess I had it all, right there before my eyes
Girl, I'm sorry now, you were the last thing on my mind

LeAnn:You carried me like a river
How far we've come still surprises me

Ronan:And now I look in the mirror
Staring back is the man
I used to be
With you
How I long for you

Repeat chorus

Ronan:Girl I'm sorry I was wrong
Could have been there
Should have been so strong
So I'm sorry, wooh

this may not be the most appropriate song but it is four o'clock in the mornin now. and you are the only thing on my mind. i knw i have no reason whatsoever to be jealous of him. i dont see how i can ever match up to him either. i m just being selfish. i guess you are better off with him.

i dont knw how this ever started. it just bugs me that its always about him. ihought i could just play it cool but i cant anymore. i feel myself cracking under mad spells of jealousy at times. i m pretty sure that it is him you want. i guess you always just treated me as a friend.

i dont knw whats making me write all this. but i do knw where i m not wanted. i knw that if you read this, you probably shun me like the plague. i m pretty much like the plague. disease and burden to everyone ard me. i also knw if you probably will not read this until one fine day when you decided to come here, but by then,this post will have been buried with all the other skeletons in my closet.

i dont blame you. neither do i have the right to. its all your choices. i dread your reaction when you read this but i truly appreciated the times i had with you. i only wished i had got to known you better earlier. not that it would make a difference. i truly glad i m meet you and i thank you for being there. i wish i could do the same for you. but you wont be needing me i guess. i really treasure our friendship but if you want to end it. i have nth to say but knw i'll be there for you if ever you need me.

orange says its bad if i m losing slp over matters like this and i guess you just made hist. i really lost slp for the first time. thanks orange, trina and alex for being there for me. really appreciate it.

p.s i may have nv told you this. but you are that girl in the green dress who took my breath away. when you smile it just takes away the pain.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

jealousy. a terrible thing.

i wish we could change the way we feel about things. but apparently not.

i just got back from double training. madness. the strange thing is.. it doesnt seem to hurt at all. hmmm.....


GET WELL SOON, i will miss you if anything were happen. haha. you probably fell aslp in yr uniform again.


i have got to start on my pw interviews. i hate pw.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

yr dimpled smile is simply stunning.

lost and confused. maybe i m just complicating stuff.

do i ever cross your mind?


had a great time today anyway. double training tmr and i should start packing my room sometime within this century.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

the true way to soften one's troubles is to solace those of others

wise words from orange. who refuses to say what her problem is. boo. then i just got really depressed and decided not to blog.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

big quarrels.

all the unhappiness in the world. i was gg to talk about that. but nash just msged me the most random thing.

some say the world ends in fire and others in ice - robert frost

i didnt knw the nzlanders are reading our blogs. anyway...


and john, i assure you, has meant no harm or offence. he listens to techno. thats about all the harm he is. polluting the canteen with stupid techno. the pt is. he is a nice guy.

btw. you asked me once what is gd at indian food. curry. its not that spicy. just try some. if it opens any time soon.


got to pack my room. night my dear fans.


somebody wants her big name on my blog. what to do. igor obey. haha. was doing some scout stuff so i got this song called daisy. but you got to be flexible. got to change with the tide and the girl. to you.. from 1892 to 2005...so here goes.

There is a flower within my heart,
Tracy, Tracy!
Planted one day by a glancing dart,
Planted by Tracy Ying!
Whether she loves me or loves me not,
Sometimes it's hard to tell;
Yet I am longing to share the lot
Of beautiful Tracy Ying!

Tracy Tracy,
Give me your answer do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet on the seat
Of a bicycle built for two !

We will go "tandem" as man and wife,
Tracy Tracy!
Ped'ling away down the road of life,
I and my Tracy Ying!
When the road's dark we can despise
P'liceman and lamps as well;
There are bright lights in the dazzling eyes
Of beautiful Tracy Ying

I will stand by you in "wheel" or woe,
Tracy Tracy!
You'll be the bell(e) which I'll ring, you know!
Sweet little Tracy Ying!
You'll take the lead in each trip we take,
Then if I don't do well;
I will permit you to use the brake,
My beautiful Tracy Ying!!!

thats the cheesy 1892's for you. haha. hope you like it.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

she's so fine, design to blow yr mind.

my sis puked last night after drinking a small bottle of wine. she now has a rash. i nv knew people could get allergic to alcohol. oh well. she started out with the 5% one. a 13% bottle is still in the fridge. i wonder who is gg to finish it. i m not allergic to alcohol. i m the only who drinks in the family. hint hint.


didnt knw somebody is captain. haha.


i have not done a single bit of work for two weeks. i must start mugging. my results are bad enough. no more mvc at tuition from now onwards. no bball. no chit chat. i feel so lazy but i cant help it. i've to start mugging between lessons at the minimum. see. i m gg to bed without any wrok being done. sigh. enough with whining.

Monday, July 11, 2005

while some people argue over green.

forget green. forget the war of the worlds. watch the guys and girls in vj fight it out over the school song is far more interesting. i read comments like this..

those victorians who oppose the change of Victoria thy sons are we. are they VS boys? they confused VS spirit with VJ spirit. its no longer a pure boys institution

shant say anything. but sure sounds like a war is brewing. i agree with john. its the victorian spirit. i've nv been much of a tradition follower but sometimes things should just be left alone.

to you women-rights activist, i must say. i m all for the whole equality between men and women thing, besides the fact it adds on my GP syllables. once you are done changin thy sons are we, you might want to start to think about how you can change the term Man in reference to all human beings, to smth more.. equal.

if you want to flame me, email me. i have like 99% more storage or smth. and i think its growing even bigger now.

life has nv been fair. what can i say. life goes on. so live with it. you people preach so much about having the 'VJ spirit'. real glad to see you fighting it out among yrselves. like its said in Lost.

if we cant live together... we are gg to die alone.

ps. if you think we are male chauvinists just because we are trying to protect our 128 odd yrs of tradition? think of it. you may not be in a pure boy's sch but you ARE using our athem. get a grip. why should you complain about thy sons are we, when we are not saying anything about Victoria thy sons are we. we got a god damn girl's name for an all boy's sch. should we change that as well?

Saturday, July 09, 2005

if destiny decided i should look the other way.

things just arent the same anymore. but at least it still positive. just less positive. darn i m talking like a science student again.


speaking of science. i failed chem. 38.5. on the brighter side of life, i got 9 out of 20 for my mcq. which i only did 5 questions and shaded the rest after they told us to stop. i didnt even read half the questions. quite an achievement i must say. i was hoping to get 45 at least.

all i can spell now is DOB. crap. i got to study. was in the organic chem lecture without my notes, surprise surprise. the teacher talked for 2 periods and i think the only think i understood was she telling the students to come sit nearer to her, not too chem related but at least i understood smth. i admit. i suck at chem and i didnt understand anything whatsoever she was saying. gd thing is. neither did my classmates. i dont care if they are just bluffing me.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

break me in.

i knw i m a jerk. my life is messed up. everything seems to be gg wrong. i knw it will all work out eventually. but the guilt is too much too bear. i hate my life.

if i could, i would remove yr pain and place it upon myself. i wish i could wipe yr tears but you probably wouldnt want to see me now. all i can do and have been doing is saying how sorry i am. and that doesnt help.

i hate myself.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Lyte Funky One.

did anybody catch the license of the party that hit me?

thanks john for the invite and the ten bucks. you cant default on that. haha. thanks mr and mrs ang(i knw it sounds remotely like some couple we knw. but this one has two kids instead of a dog.) for letting us party. rather unrestricting parents i must say. save the movie screening part. thanks john and....


thanks to andrew for sharing presents. haha. being a student in need of cash. that helped.

thanks to lina for letting me have her number and jasmine(i think) for giving it. easiest ten bucks ever earned. nice meeting you all.

thanks to the vodka factory. i m sure yr lighter fluid would have burn well if we hadnt drank it all.

haha. i m starting to sound like it was my party. but i'll probably nv have one till i m filthy rich and all of you can come sponge of me. muahahaha. just kidding.


went to watch batman begins today with sinwen. damn gd movie it was. thanks for the presents yea. haha. feel really bad having you to always buy stuff for me.

Friday, July 01, 2005

we fit together.

cool fact #1. my birthday means that i m the crux of the cross that stand testimony to the heaven i seek.(whatever that means.)

cool fact #2. exams are over and i screwed every paper, save physics which i think i can get a for.

cool fact #3. shit. i forgot. anyway. heres another cool fact. sinwen thinks she can get a too for physics. you knw what makes us really different. she's probably gg to pass everything else.

cool fact #4. we were at the cinema today. they had people dress up as dr doom(not the real doom. i want julian m's signature too) and friends to promote fantastic 4. so the photographer asked a grp next to us whether they wanted photos with doom and some freaks in tights. the whole lot of us turned ard b4 the guy could take a shot of us. it was damn funny the way we all did it together.

cool fact #5. desperate photographer and dr doom decided that since no one wanted to take photos with them. they would have to get it themselves. so the innocent me(i M innocent.) was waiting for my friends, watching the heineken ad on tv when the maniac(dr doom) grabbed me for behind while the photographer took the photo of me jumping. i didnt knw who and tried to punch doom. but as usual. quick reflexes failed again. (i m starting to wonder if thats just a lie) so i pretended to cry on my friends shoulder. quite pathetic. wait. this is a not so cool fact.