fade to black

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

maybe tomorrow.

i got this from call of duty 2.. sweet game. just dont try it on game consoles.. madness. maybe i'm just lousy at that.

"war doesnt determine who's right. only who is left." -some fellow(cant remember his name.)


its been a long cny.. pretty draggy too. my family has very unique way of functioning. we work on a need-to-knw basis. i figure thats why i never knw what's happening until its over or its happening. nth new to wake up being yelled at for not being ready for a malaysia trip or some visit we are having.

the flaw with this system? need to knw often ends up being i dont knw. oh well. nth new. maybe its me. maybe i should pay more attention to what they are saying..


i can never understand them.

in life, you either win or you lose. in my case. i forfeit.


cross country tmr. nothing can surpass the annoying fact that the whole sport is just plain.dead.running. maybe except the fact that we dont have school. whee. more time to finish my hw.. yes you heard me right. samuel is a changed man. i m actually doing my hw now. fear me. oh yes. not to forget the hot cross girls... whoo...

training tmr. right after cross. ultimate weight loss program. on the bright side. we MIGHT not have to do warm up running. on the down side. we already ran 4.8

i hate running. i like nike though. (random.)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

game over.

the cocoon wriggles and squirms in violent to the slightest of movement around, almost as though it had eyes to see and ears to hear. after a month of the most elaborate and complex evolution from that speck to the full fledged caterpillar and finally, the cocoon. this is the most mysterious and magnificent transformation period. the cocoon wriggles vivaciously, seemingly out of control, awaiting the reveal its contents to the warm of the sunlight.

impatiently yet carefully prodding it to quicken the process, the cocoon begins to wriggle with excitement and fear of what the world holds for it, so excited it manages move that only a gymnast would. adrenaline so strong it manages what appears to temporary levitation. with a final prod, the encasted net break in a neat tear. revealing to the world what is unimaginable of the little ugly grub of a caterpillar we first witness it to be.

the butterfly. wings together. climbs out of it shell. the fortress that has kept it safe and warm for the past 10 odd days. it perches itself onto a stalk and freezes. as though to catch its breath. in mere secs, like a new born opening his/her eyelids for the very first time, the butterfly attempts to separate its wings. for the very first time, the world stands witness to an ever-repeating unfolding of a beauty, yet it never gets tired of the breath-taking view of the beauty unveiling.

the butterfly. however impatient to fly, knws that it must wait a minute or more til its wings harden themselves. this is built in instincts. it never learns. neither does it never forgets. at this most vulnerable time, before your finger can touch its wings, the butterfly would attempt to fly away.

almost instantly, the wings disintergrate upon hitting the air, reducing to less than dust.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

I want to play a game.

Hello, Michael. I want to play a game.

So far, what you call this
your life, you've been living watching other.

The society calls you a informer, a rat, a snitch.

I call you unworthy of the body you possess, of the life that have been given.

Now, we will see if you are willing to look in the world better than that, to give up
the one thing you rely on in order to go on living.

The device arround your neck is a
death mask. The mask is on a spring timer. If you do not locate the key in time, the mask will close. Think at this like a carnivorous plant.

What are you looking right now is your own body no more than two hours ago. Don't worry. You were put to sleep and can't feel a thing.

Taking to account that you are a great disadvantage here, I am going to give a hint from where I've hidden the key. So listen carefully. The hint is this: it's right behind your eye!

How much blood you would share to stay
alive, Michael. Live or die.


Greetings. And welcome. I trust that you all are wondering where you are. I can assure you that your location it is not important, what this walls offer for you is important.


If you earn it, three hours from now the door to this house will open. But unfortunately you have two hours to live. Right now, you are breathing a deadly nerve agent. you've been breathing since you arrived here. As you are familiar with Tokyo subway attacks will know it's devastating effects on the the human body.

The only way to overcome it and walk out that door, it is to find the antidote. somewhere hidden around this house. One of them is inside that safe in front of you.

You all possess the combination of the safe. Think hard.

The numbers are in the back of your mind. The clues of the order can be found over the rainbow. Once you will realize what you have in common you will be in better understanding why you are here.

X mark the spot of the clue. So, look carefully.

Let the game begin.


The jigsaw piece that I cut for my subjects was more to be a symbol that at that subject was missing something, a vital piece of the human puzzle: the survival instinct.


Hello Obi, I want to play a game.

For years you have burnt those around you enough lies and deceits. Now you have a chance to redeem your soul for the games what you played for the other.

By playing one of mine.

Inside of the equipment there are two antidotes for the poison that runs in your veins. One is a present of mine for helping me to kidnap the other ones. The second is yours to donate. However, one of them will have a price.

Remembers that: once you are in hell, only the devil can help you.


The knowledge of the death changes everything.

If I will tell you the exact date and time of your own death, it will shut your world completely.

Can you imagine what is feel like to have someone sit you down and tell you that you're dying.
The gravity of that? That the clock is ticking for you.

In one second, the world is crack open.
You look at things differently, you smell things differently. You savor everything, either a glass of water or a walk in the park.

Most people have the luxury not knowing when that clock will go off.
And the irony of that is that it keeps from really living their lives.

It keep them drinking that glass of water but not really tasting it.


Those who don't appreciate life, do not deserve life.


Hello Xavier, I want to play a game.

The game I want to play is very similar with what you give that played as a drug dealer.

The game of offering hope to the desperate for a price. I think we can agree that your situation is desperate. So I offer you hope.

The price you to pay is that you must crawl in the same pit you force yours customers into.

By entering this room, a timer has been started When the time expired, the door in front of you will be locked forever. You must have find the key before that the time runs out. Can you unlocked, with the dreams that are locked inside?

I will give you just one hint that's where the key is. It will be as finding a needle in the heist.

Let the game begin.


You must meet death if you want to be reborn.

The cure for death itself? The answer is immortality.

By creating a legacy, I'm living a life who's remembers you become immortal.


You are unworthy of the life that you have been given.

Now that your son faces death, is cause you to forget all his sins.
Because we are only willing to do that when his life is in danger?


game over.

Friday, January 20, 2006

here is gone

some irritating fellow: i hope you will be a team player
nathan muir(robert redford): everytime my coach told me that, i knew i was gg to be benched.

coach told me i'm gg to be a team player.


what a tiring week. now i knw why the old samuel nv did his hw. too stressful to keep up.. i m still suffering from the aftermath standing in a waterlog field. i have like 20 odd mosquito bite which are killing me. we need to fog that place.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

ten things i hate when i m slping

1) waking up.
2) waking up because of people droning next to you about dota.
3) waking up but not have the energy to get up and kill the fucker.

3 is enough for now. you get my point.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

cards and phone calls and photographs, pictures of you.

*news flash* recon satellite photos have detected several nuclear silos along siglap park connector. -gasp-

lovers' night. we just had to go jogging. yes. i m bitter about it.


charis and sherry are probably in aussie now. shopping for my present i hope. muahaha. its been a long week. will miss them. but strangely, life goes on. take care you two.


did you get my letter i wrote you but i did not send.

i realised my com doesnt lag on blogger in html mode. random comment. anyway. speaking of letters. i better reply my angel if i want my chocolates. and i'll make it fun for my mortal who is a vs boy. bah. so instead of writing him a letter that simply said.

"i'm putting you up for adoption"

i will now write him a 'proper' letter.

Friday, January 13, 2006


roxette. what a great band/singer. not too sure but they're pretty gd. dont feel like talking today. its friday the thirteen and falling in love can spoil many friendships. go listen.


I pick up the phone, I’m dialing your number
While I pray you’re at home, at home and alone
’cause I can’t function on my own
And I’ll never stop believing

The reapwork is done. you are the one
The radio is on but sound is all gone
And I wanna walk out in the sun
But lately that’s been very hard to do

I’ve got a thing about you
And I don’t really know what to do
’cause I’ve got a thing about you, hey you

I pick up the phone, I’m dialing that number
And my heart like a stone waits for the tone.
Oh, I can’t make it on my own,
And I’ll never stop believing.

I know what is right and this is so wrong
Alone in my bed, better off on my own
The tv is on, but the colours are gone
And lately you’ve been painting my world blue


Thursday, January 12, 2006

time for blasphemy of the day.

when the christian/catholic god send rain upon the earth and noah shouldnt have built the ark. he should have made a drainage system. thats why we arent flooded, drowned and dead after 4 days of rain. all of you DO knw the story of noah's ark right? big boat, lots of animals. and what the bible doesnt tell you. there must have been a whole lot of shit on board by the time the flood subsided. see my point. drainage system was a better idea.

sorry. no offence really.


dont worry john. i got ms tan. i'll take over yr noble work. haha. better not.. a's...


the world has a strange of spinning round and giving you a good kick in the rear.

just when i felt that i needed to take a slow walk in the rain. to enjoy its serenity and think things over. just when i made all my plans to do so. the world decides to be a bitch. its stops raining.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

we only dig deeper by running away.

we only get one shot at life.

at least i tried. dont ever try to guess what they are thinking. not her.


saw my first tattoo piercing today. haha. pretty cool stuff. the dude was bloody sarcastic but narvin was bloody stingy too. the old man's place is the sleaz-iest place ard. its the kind of place that you might get aids just by walking into the shop. that smell. ergh....

Monday, January 09, 2006

oh you big puss.

getting stripped is no joke. i think its bad karma. i should start eating vegetarian and pray. i dont see the link but people do it all the same anyway.


foodcourt are digusting places. on the pretext of giving you better service. vendors begins to raise the price of their food. usually, they are overwhelmed by their success of their scheme. hence the quality of food drop. by theory of supply and demand. that should lead to drop in business. however, no evil schemes can succed without the aid of their most powerful sidekick, the fool/s.

such evil schemes tends to spread like the plague/wildfire/commies/virus.... soon it infects the gd system of cheap food. and deprives people like me of cheap and good food. one of kenn's random comments,

"i had to sell my pokemon cards to buy lunch."

he said that in protest against getting charge a buck for ogl form. but what the heck. the viewers dont have to knw that. unfortunately i do not have pokemon cards to sell and so i didnt become an ogl. anyway. i digress.

well. does the origin of this filth polluting the cheap tasty hawker/food court system sound familar to all you VS boys? -hint hint-

kenn also says that i should try to be more compromising to our communist counterparts(counterparts. yuck. sounds like we are trying to be friends.) oh well. that would just have to wait to be add to 2007's resolution.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

stereotypical minds.

just watched constantine.

movie makers are all the same. americans. the frogs. the brits. the richer asian. everyone except the poor directors who cant afford it, seem to have this outgoing war with the germans. almost every movie you see, there is some implication that the germans are the bad guys.

man touches spear wrapped in nazi flag. next moment. man is possessed by the devil himself. so the spear is fabled to killed jesus.

take taxi(the original one, and the lousy one for that matter) the germans are always the bad guys. no objections to them making the japs the bad guy in taxi 2 though.

somehow every show, there will always be a bad guy. and if he is not german or jap. he will drive a german car. save the directors that cant afford it. aka bollywood. the bad guy normally rides a bike or doesnt have a car.

so the nazi's killed 6 million jews. we heard enough about that. quit harping on the past. hitlers dead. so they started the two wars. but they dont have nuclear capablitites(do they?). they wont start another. give them a break already.

all the lights burn out.

the way 2006 is gg. i dont think i m liking it..


when a monk/celebrity performs a publicity stunt in hope of raising funds, what do they actually acheive from it? seriously. nothing. so the people are dying.

yet thousands die everyday. wheres yr bleeding sympathy for them?

the fact that people are dying and the only way for the rest of us to pay attention is that someone else, a celebrity, whose lives seems to be valued higher than the rest of us.

people are dying and what we do is attempt to waste another in hope of raising aid leaves alot to be said about the human race.


awful silence after the rain. the only audible sounds are the typing on the keyboard. the slowing pulse of the pattering raindrops on zinc roofs. and my sis and dad talking about the show all the way from downstairs.

time to dump out the 2005 AMG calendar.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

mad about you.

her picture on my wall. i think i m in love. deep.

but i have to shape up. i m getting too fat for my own gd. if she can lose 30 kg. i can lose some pounds too.

diet time.

was feeling rather melancholy until i met her tonight. strange thing love does to people.


its not too gd to blog about events that happen yesterday. for me at least. i cant remember what i wanted to say. great now i have to watch lords of dog town again.

the pursue of fame and fortune has been known to have its devastating effects. it somehow manages to blind our souls to what is/was essentially important in our hearts. somehow, the knowledge of fame and fortune brings us into the real world. a rat race for survival. to be at the top.

the taste of fame can be more addictive than drugs. just once and you will crave for more.

giving up the simple childhood fantasy where nothing really mattered quickly fades and becomes a blurry point over the far horizon when we all take that step out of our own world into the real one. sad but true. thats life.


i love you but you dont care.


Psychologically, tension means excited expectation or apprehension of a proposed event which is either particularly desired or feared. Physically, tension describes a force within a resilient body. Mechanical tension (symbol s) is the force per surface unit which acts in an imaginary section plane through a body, a fluid or a gas. TENSION is also the most important instrument of playwrights and authors for motivating the viewer and reader to watch and read further.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

a thing about you.........

and she scolds me for talking to her on msn.. when we are two rooms apart? remember? nice to have fans anyway.


i wont be surprise if we get called up tmr.. the announcement probably goes like this.

yesterday. the college received a call from an concerned member of the public. he told us he saw a group of vjc students, male, at burger king having a conversation. besides being loud and obnoxious, the students were telling alot of racist jokes...yada yada yada...

alright. maybe it wont go like that. but i dont think like a teacher alright. i got my 16pf. i m a construction worker. give me my yellow boots and you get PCK. wow. i always wanted to operate one of those digging machine things. i also dream of driving a nice bmw. but the way things are gg. i'll probably end up with a japanese tin-can when i m 40. hopefully i dont have to resort to a proton or hyundai (dont do it sam). lets hope i get lucky. you can always rely on the big red merc.


pls dont talk to me. i m in one of those phase where everything i say and do seems to be incoherent. experience tells me that people take that as a sign that i m mentally unsound or i m just plain weird. -you keep quiet- anyway. i m sure it'll be over soon.

the way my brain is wired. you can hear the wires fusing if you are close enough.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

you only get one shot at life.

i guess its time to get down and study. but my body tells me to slp in lessons. my head tells me to skip lessons. and my heart... we'll leave it at that.


i have gotten down to improve my gp. for starters, i m attending lessons now. breathe people. dont get too shock. and i m reading a thick, thick book that is supp to help improve yr vocab. gg well so far. got through 6 pages. wow. 2000 more to go. i just crapped up some number. anyway. the pt is. the book is thick. very thick. my dad is trying to download the 'toad' nonsense again. dont even knw why he bothers. this stupid com cant even load ie under half a min. lag up the com even further. i had to uninstall heroes 4 the instant i installed it during the hols. cause it hanged while loading about ten times and to move my mouse in the game takes about a min. we are just talking about moving the cursor here. anyway. enough about me griping. you talk about me for a while. haha. who has the biggest ego now.

cool movie mr chua showed us today. besides the fact only 3 people went (thank you -bows- thank you) and he wasnt even there. yea. we knw you have the booth thing.. haha. anyway. that was an awesome movie. its amazing how people actually find movies like that. do they actually go buy random dvds and watch to see if its gd. but honestly. that is truly unexpected for an malaysian production. wow. cliche though. strange end too.


orientation was... erm... shant comment.

Monday, January 02, 2006

new year's resolution.

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

-goo goo dolls.

alright. i lie. heck with world peace. you lied too. so we dont win the pagent. big deal.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

we lust for the things we cant seem to grasp.

i dont knw if this happens to all of us in general or just me. we dont seem to treasure what we have and constantly desired not what we do not have. but more, what others have but we do not. we often dream about his new computer or his girlfriend. and we put our focus on how great it would be to be in his shoes. this often leads to us neglecting things and people we already have, or opportunities we could have had.

the sickening thing about life is. after you have failed miserably at trying to achieve what you think was the best for you. be it getting into that guy's gf's pants or chasing that one thing someone else have. after you have failed and you are just broken. you cant achieve what you setted out to achieve. you realize you have been chasing pipe dreams all this time. it is always at that very moment that life slaps you back into reality, that you realise what you actually had and possessed. all the opportunities at yr fingertips. just passed you by, and they are not coming back. or maybe to someone else who actually grab the opportunity when it knocks.

the irony in life then sets in. after lots of thinking. alot of complaining. griping. drinking. hangovers. you finally realised where the problem in life lies. it is you yourself all along. you could kick yrself in the butt for not realising until it's too late. too late. the echoes of angels they wont return.

flaw in human nature or plain stupidity?

samuel has been captured by aliens. happy new year.